


Lito Rodriguez: Sex Goddess

by AndreaLyn



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 15:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5339873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaLyn/pseuds/AndreaLyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lito's career hits a lull, he starts shopping hobbies to fill his time. Yoga, cooking, and petty crime don't really work out, but a blog giving love and sex advice seems to do the trick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lito Rodriguez: Sex Goddess

It happens in the lull between role that Lito’s agent assures him is a completely normal thing for this time of year. Never mind that Lito has not ever had a lull in his career since he started working telenovelas. He has forced himself to accept the lines he’s been fed because it’s better than panicking every moment that all of this is a result of his coming out. Even that hadn’t been entirely truthful. He had left wiggle room in lying by osmosis with the implication that he could be bisexual (even though he knows it’s not), but it’s something even Hernando had agreed to because they can be in public and Lito can keep a career.

So instead of obsessing, he must do something else. Hernando suggests he pick up a hobby to fill the time. “Cooking,” he insists. “We could take a class together.”

They do. Lito nearly chops off his thumb and winds up so flooded with admiring fans that the instructor asks the both of them to leave. Hernando manages to finish a very good set of fajitas they eat for dinner that night while Daniela wraps up the nick in his thumb. 

“Yoga?” Hernando suggests.

Lito’s memory of yoga involves Sun and if he wants to get back to that, he knows he can visit her in South Korea at any time. Working out more is ruled out because he’s already lifting weights for hours each day and if he does any more, his cluster will start to have a talk with him about his incessant schedule and how it keeps them up.

“Prayer?” Kala offers, which is very sweet, but the trouble is that Lito doesn’t really believe in any God so much as he believes in religion for his family’s sake. Besides, he thinks he’s pretty damned for considering his first time with Hernando to have been nothing short of miraculous.

He still makes an effort by going to the temple with Kala and letting her explain what they pray for. It doesn’t fill his time the way he wants it to, but he thinks he understands her a little better (and he thinks he understands Wolfgang too, who lingers behind them while they set their treats down for Kala’s favourite gods).

“Petty crime,” Wolfgang deadpans one day, when he’s relaxing in the corner of Lito’s apartment.

He’s really not sure if he’s joking, is the trouble.

“It’s not a bad idea. It might even give us the chance to learn a few more skills.”

“Nomi, you’re not helping,” Will chides, and suddenly his head has devolved into a summit of his parts. Lito steps away when the three of them start bickering about what’s actually legal, what’s not, and how many crimes each of them would be going to prison for.

In the end, it’s Daniela who has the idea. Early one morning before the sun is fully up in the sky, she peers over Hernando’s shoulder and smiles sleepily at him. “I know exactly what you should do,” she announces, telling him the full plan.

Lito has to admit that it’s a little bit genius. Of course, he cannot do it under his own name because it would likely be a very firm nail in his career’s coffin, but Daniela has him covered. “Lola Hernando,” she says and hands him her tablet, basking in Lito’s delighted smile for the name she’s chosen.

This may end up a terrible mistake, but it seems like the best possible expense of Lito’s time right now.

_SEX TIPS AND OTHER WAYS TO GET YOUR MAN_

“So what do I do? I can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

Daniela smirks as she tugs the tablet closer to herself and rapidly types in the first question for Lola, giving her a platform upon which to shout out as much advice as possible. It turns out that it’s not for Daniela at all, but for him. Lito smiles fondly at her and kisses her temple, taking the tablet out to the balcony for his first (and hopefully not the last) question.

_I’ve just met someone and I really, really like him. How soon is too soon to make a move?_

Daniela has heard the story of Lito and Hernando enough times now to know that this will be a very easy answer for Lito. He grins when Hernando joins him with a margarita, peering at the tablet over Lito’s shoulder and pressing his glasses up (he looks surprised, but not like he disapproves which is a very good sign).

“What do I tell the world?” Lito asks. 

“What’s in your heart,” Hernando replies.

> Dear Impatiently Eager,
> 
> If you truly believe that you like this person, then there is only one solution. Touch him. Touch him and take him in your hands and mouth like he is holy. Hold him and worship every inch of his body until you can do nothing but cry out for him in your sleep and dream of him. If he likes you back, he will curve into your every touch and respond to your every cry. He will be in your dreams and dream of you back. There is no too soon if your heart has found its true mate. There is only too late.

Hernando reads silently over his shoulder while Lito waits expectantly for his review.

“Well?” he demands.

“You’re getting too melodramatic,” Hernando sighs. “And the trouble is, I love it.”

He takes that as the first sign of success. Daniela loves it, too, though she’s much more vocal in her demonstration of such love by the squealing and hugging she does. The knowing wink is a bit much, but then, Daniela is always a little over the top. They’re simpatico, like that. Lito tucks away the computer and doesn’t think much of it until he wakes the next morning to find he has dozens of new e-mails.

The alerts keep coming. Little pings and noises tell Lito that his inbox is quickly filling up and he hasn’t got any idea why.

“This may be my fault,” Nomi comments, looking extremely guilty in the glow of her laptop. Lito wanders into her apartment, looking at Amanita sleeping (naked) in their bed and then at Nomi, who’s sitting with her knee drawn to her chest. “I thought I would help you out.”

“How?” Lito asks suspiciously.

“In simple terms?” He nods, because despite their shared knowledge, he’s too tired to really think about this. “I ran an algorithm that brings traffic to your blog, which makes it easier to find when you search for something like relationship advice or sex tips. So even though you only have the one entry, people are finding it. Also, I put a picture there.”

She has. And it’s one of Daniela and Lito merged together, as if they’ve had a child and it’s grown up to appear on one of Maxim’s top 100 hottest lists. Lito tries not to be so proud of this imagined progeny, but his ego remains stroked, nonetheless.

“What does it mean?” he asks.

Nomi smiles, as proud as Lito is and he’s not sure if it’s her own pride or his bleeding over. “It means you just got very popular, _very_ fast.”

He knows deep-down that he should be a little worried about this, but the egomaniac within him loves the fact that once again, he’s popular in something he does. Famous, even.

“Thank you,” he says passionately, kissing Nomi’s cheek before he goes back to his home in Mexico City and basks in the joy of having all these new followers all of a sudden.

* * *

The joy does not last long.

It takes Lito all of thirty minutes to find several irritated and angry comments, ranging from demands to post more, crabby comments that disagree with him, and several people who just plain threaten him. Then there are the unfortunate ones who have taken the profile picture as an excuse to send lurid sexual pictures and emails.

He curls into Hernando’s side, staring at the offending laptop that bears all these messages.

“Was I ever that crude when I seduced you?” he wonders, as Hernando strokes his fingers lightly over Lito’s shoulder.

“You seduced me?” Hernando asks. “I don’t remember that.”

Lito lifts his head, already drawing up as many arguments as possible to counter Hernando’s poor memory. “I took you out to your favourite place and I listened while you went on about the art, all the while wearing my very best shirt…”

“ _That_ was your best shirt?”

“And then I gave you a world-shatteringly good blowjob in the restroom!” 

How is that not a perfect seduction, is what Lito wants to know.

“Fine,” Hernando agrees. “You seduced me.” He reaches over to close the laptop so that neither of them can see the screen anymore, flipping their positions so that this time, Hernando is on top. “Now, can we please ignore all the hateful things that people are saying when they have absolutely no idea how love works?”

Lito looks up with eager hope. “Are you going to do something that takes my mind off it?”

“Many somethings,” Hernando agrees.

Three orgasms later, Lito couldn’t even tell you that he runs a blog for love and sex advice. He can barely tell you his own name.

* * *

Several days later, Lito has more questions than he knows what to do with, but there’s one that feels achingly familiar.

_I’ve fallen in love with someone that I can’t be with. The trouble is, I’m supposed to marry someone else. How do I let them down gently?_

Lito doesn’t have to wait long before he looks to the side to see Kala sitting with him, knee pressed to her chest as she chews on her thumbnail, giving him an apologetic look. “That one’s my fault,” she confesses, as if Lito couldn’t have figured it out. He wonders if she’s really looking for an answer or whether this is a way to tell Wolfgang that she doesn’t truly love Rajan. He wonders if he should tell her that Wolfgang already knows.

Lito turns so that he’s sitting cross-legged and facing her, holding the tablet in his lap to type as he speaks, the words coming from his mind to hers, from his fingers to the world, and between their hearts all at once.

“Dear Gentle Soul,” he begins, not taking his eyes off Kala. “What’s most important is that you’ve finally let your head listen to your heart. It can be a messy thing, but what part of life isn’t? And isn’t it the messiest things that we fall in love with? Art, people, all manner of things are appealing when they are messy. Now, the trouble becomes how to avoid making a mess of someone’s heart.” Reaching over, he squeezes her hand. “And you must be careful that you are not ending the relationship to be with the other person. It must be because your heart is empty of the love it must flow with in order to marry someone. The grass will never be greener, but your heart will never lie to you. Tell the truth. Lean on your friends. And then, when many months pass, if your man is still in love with you, then you can plant the seeds of new love.”

Kala smiles fondly at him, hiding her face in her hands as if that will prevent Lito from seeing how she blushes so beautifully.

He presses ‘post’ on his little tablet and sets it aside so he can crawl forward and wrap Kala up in his arms, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Are you really finally thinking about leaving Rajan?”

She nods, but says nothing. 

“Kala,” Lito murmurs quietly, wishing that he could talk to her about being honest, but he can’t. He’s only told half-truths that benefit himself. He is still as selfish as ever before, but now he’s not hurting Hernando in turn. “You would be braver than me.”

“It’s not for Wolfgang,” she says firmly. “I think I love him, but you’re right. Leaving Rajan isn’t for Wolfgang. It’s for me.”

“What will you do with yourself, once you’ve found your freedom?”

Kala smiles sweetly and shrugs her shoulders. “It’s going to sound terrible, but I really want to work. I don’t want to be the boss’ wife that everyone sees as getting ahead because of who I’m planning to marry. I’m very smart. I’m good at what I do. I want to be great.”

Lito nods and squeezes her shoulder. “You will be. I know it in my heart.”

Which means that she feels it too.

* * *

_How do I tell my girlfriend that I want us to experiment with groups more often?_

“It’s not exactly an easy topic to broach.” As quickly as the email had come into his inbox, there’s Will sitting beside him. There’s an absence of Riley, though, and all of a sudden, Lito understands all too well. He wants very badly not to tease, but it’s very hard not to. He makes good on his promise because he knows that it would make Will feel terrible and Lito desperately wants to avoid that.

“And here I thought you didn’t like being reminded of our special time together.”

“It was very good,” Wolfgang says and to Will’s other side, Nomi has arrived. “Riley knows what it felt like.” 

“They all know,” Lito points out, because Amanita and Hernando have even both been told and the rest of the cluster couldn’t ignore it. “Do you want to do that again? Except, this time with Riley?”

Lito hadn’t even known that Will could blush the way he’s colouring and it’s a frankly adorable look on him. 

Wolfgang is awful, worse than Lito, and he claps Will on the shoulder so hard that he nearly lurches forward. “And I thought you were boring,” he says, clearly delighted by having been proved wrong. “Tell her.”

“I don’t think it’s as simple as ‘do you want to have an orgy with me, some of the other sensates, and a few of their significant others’,” Will points out.

“Not the kind of thing you send an e-vite for,” Nomi agrees in a deadpan. “Besides, it’s not like we planned it. Fortuitous timing,” she says. “Lito was with Hernando and I was with Amanita and Wolfgang…”

“I’m always ready for sex,” he admits, without a single reservation about this habit. “I’m good to go whenever I’m needed.”

Lito doesn’t think that he can write a response to this one because it’s so intimately between them. “If you and Riley, in the same place, were to start making love, at the same time as some of the rest of us, I cannot imagine it would be easy to resist.”

“So…text?” Nomi suggests.

“My hand is always ready,” Wolfgang promises.

“You’re a pervert,” Will says, but there’s no accusation so much as mild wonder in his voice. “God, why do I love that about you.”

“Because we love each other,” Lito states the obvious. “Will, they’re right. I think so, at least. Start something with Riley and the rest of us will feel the pull. If she doesn’t want to do that, she’ll tell us,” he says, feeling confident in that. He may not be the love expert that he’s going around telling the world he is, but he knows enough about women to know that you listen to them and they’ll steer you right.

His mother had taught him that much.

Will rubs a sheepish hand through his hair and nods. “Don’t answer that one publically?” he asks hopefully.

“Don’t worry. It’s our secret,” Lito vows, crossing his heart and hoping to die.

* * *

“I’m lonely,” Sun says. 

It’s the middle of the night and Lito is tired. He’s so tired. He’s been working on a shoot that’s required most of his time and so his column has been manned by Daniela and Hernando in the interim. They’re both very good, but the rest of his cluster don’t seem to want the advice of strangers and are bypassing the (growing) queue to talk directly to him. Lito groans and sits up, shushing Hernando when he asks if something is wrong. He gestures for Sun to follow him and heads to the kitchen, searching for a midnight snack if he’s going to be up talking.

“I don’t know what to say,” he confesses. Finding love in an all-women’s prison may not be an impossible topic, but it’s certainly one that Lito has absolutely zero experience with. “I thought you’d made friends.”

Sun lets out a scoff. “Friends,” she says darkly. “Allies,” she corrects him.

“May I?”

Lito turns to find Capheus lingering in the corner, eating Lito’s caramel popcorn right along with him. The immense relief that sweeps through him is regrettable, but as he’s already known – it’s not as if he has a book that tells him how to cope with loneliness in prison. Then again, Capheus shouldn’t either.

“How are you going to solve my loneliness?” Sun asks warily.

“That’s an easy question,” Capheus replies sunnily. “You should ask harder ones. Like how are we going to prove your innocence. We will. It may take time, but we will. Or how are we going to make it so Whispers cannot find Will without constantly moving him and drugging him and blindfolding him. Another very hard question,” he says sagely.

“And my loneliness?”

“There are seven of us, Sun,” Capheus says gently. “And none of us are ever going to abandon you to something like loneliness. Watch,” he instructs, crossing the room to draw her into his arms, holding onto her with a firm embrace. “And the others are just as skilled,” he promises, stepping back. 

Lito hasn’t even noticed, but as they’ve been speaking, the others are arriving, standing in a circle. Even Wolfgang and Will, who look embarrassed to be here, are there for her support. Riley draws closer and wraps both arms around Sun to hold her protectively tight.

“When one of us can’t do something alone,” she says, “that’s what we’re for. So when you’re lonely, we’ll fix that.”

Lito, who’s been playing at being a relationship (and sex) counselor, knows that he’d be nothing without the others helping him along the way.

And he knows he will never be lonely, not because of them.

“Does that go for sex tips, too?” Sun asks wryly, her smile showing that she’s moved on from her loneliness and is securely into teasing, now.

“I think that’s up to our resident sex goddess,” Nomi jokes, shooting Lito a grin. 

“Maybe the rest of you. I just signed a new series,” he says. “So I was going to shut it down.”

“No!” Kala and Capheus echo together.

“We could help,” Will suggests, with a look in his eye that says he’d really, really like to help.

Wolfgang shrugs, trying to downplay his interest, but Lito can _feel_ it. “Sometimes,” he says. “When we have nothing better to do.”

“I’ve always wanted to give out advice to the masses. It’s like people are making their offerings to you,” Kala says, grasping at his hand to squeeze it, as if he needs the extra convincing. He looks to Riley and Capheus, to Sun (who’s already nodding), and then to Nomi, who’s giving him an apologetic smile.

“What?” Lito asks.

“Amanita was going to ask to create an offshoot anyway. This might be a better solution.”

And that’s how Lito’s column continues on in a new form, but just as devoted to as always, with points from all over the world weighing in on love, lust, and all other forms of romantic happiness.

It’s even more perfect when they come to him and ask to adapt the blog into a movie; Lito agrees, on the sole condition that Hernando gets to write it because he knows Lito better than anyone.

(And it goes without saying that between the eight of them and all the people they love, none of them are ever truly lonely ever again)


End file.
